I’ve been trying to resist resolutions, but they’re haunting me

At the usual time, 3 to 3:30 a.m. I wake up thinking I need to do something, that slightly anxious feeling like when a project is coming due, but isn’t falling together the way it should be. But I don’t have a deadline, except someplace in my mind I think I do, the ghost of goal setting past. And I was an extreme goal setter, continuous quality improvement facilitator, I mean this was my job and I really liked it.

“It might be fun to do a new bucket list. What new things to accomplish with riding horses this year? Start doing You tubes of dog training segments for clients? What about dietetics, you are a dietitian after all!” Wait a minute, I think I heard my mom’s voice in there. Could she be the ghost, well she’s still alive, but for a long time in my teens and twenties she was the voice of my conscience – irritating as it was.

No, noooo…well maybe I’ll do a mindmap. And I don’t have to make it realistic, understandable, measurable and achievable (RUMBA) or prioritize or include all my roles on a day planner book mark or revisit it daily, weekly and monthly to assess my accomplishments. or do any of the Seven Habits if I don’t feel like it. And I don’t have to do cost/benefit analysis, well I probably do, ‘cuz I’ll be paying. But definitely don’t have to do complete documentation, unless I want to.

Initial mindmap, color and details can be added as I go as can more branches
Initial mindmap, more color and details can be added as I go as can more branches and separate pages for each focal area if I want them. Notice my eyebrows…

There, I found drawing paper, lacking multi-color inking pens, grumble, grumble. OK then, I’ve got some things down. I’ve picked my calendars for some record keeping and eight general areas to focus on, one quarter of which can make money. Hm, maybe I’ll get out the book marks with roles and goals, I mean, I always need book marks (hate to break book’s backs). When would I want to check my progress…Mom, get out of my head!

Balance is in there without details as of yet. I know I’m a tad compulsive, yeah that used to produce a laugh from the groups I used to help get projects done, and so balance – well I’ll have to see where I’m tipping toward. I feel like tipping toward gardening.

Peonies in June
Peonies in June

Is this how other people do it? Say no until the nagging in your head just makes it easier to comply? And who’s voice was your conscience? Anybody else dislike outline form? I think the world is less linear and more circular, hence, circular webbed plans. Anybody else feel like gardening? Mom’s not a gardener, but I keep seeing her in my mirror more and more.




3 thoughts on “I’ve been trying to resist resolutions, but they’re haunting me

  1. Wow! So clever and organized! To think every moment of my entire life has been a series of unplanned, unscheduled, chaotic eruptions, one moment after another. I really need to start taking notes when reading your posts…:D

    1. Well thanks, I think a famous singer said life is what happens when we’re making other plans. I come from a fairly long line of teachers…so get out a pen and a piece of paper, there will be a quiz! Not.

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